


INK

by GeckoBoy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Coran and Allura own a coffee shop, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Dancer Lance (Voltron), Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Keith is a good brother, Keith is angry, Korean Keith (Voltron), Lance is clueless, Multi, Orphan Keith (Voltron), Pidge and Matt drink too much, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Soulmate-Identifying Marks, musician Shiro, or something like that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-09 21:14:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12284526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoBoy/pseuds/GeckoBoy
Summary: Everyone has one - or they get theirs when they turn 18, at least.The day of your 18th birthday is a big deal; the day you finally see your tattoo for the first time, the day your life really begins, the day you have to be careful who you fall in love with.Love is a funny thing, but with something good, comes something permanent.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was a spur of the moment idea where I found a writing prompt about people having a tattoo on the inside of their ankle that appears on their 18th birthday. The tattoo is personal to them and them alone. No two tattoos are the same.  
> Each time you fall in love, the tattoo of the person you have fallen in love with appears somewhere on your body – this doesn’t have to be your soulmate.  
> The tattoos, like real ones, are permanent, and even if you no longer love the person, they remain on your body forever, unless you choose to get them removed, which is both very painful and expensive, meaning only those who are very well off are able to have it done.

**LANCE**

Leaving home to go and study somewhere away from the home I grew up in was probably one of the most exciting things I could have imagined. I left in my second-hand car which had once been my brother’s late one Friday night after saying goodbye to my family, and with a teary smile on my face, I started driving. This was the biggest thing to have happened to me in my entire life, and I was so excited to meet all the people that I would call friends for the rest of my life.

 

I wasn’t the youngest in my family, but I had 2 older brothers and an older sister who had already experienced all of this before. It was thanks to the eldest, Daniel, that I decided to move away from home in the first place. He had been to college, experienced all the things people heard about, and loved every second of it. He had even got his first tattoo there, which we all remember mama taking way too seriously when she found out. I knew that deep down, I wanted all of that too, and although I knew nobody where I was moving, I was sure that I’d love everything about it the second I found where I was going to be living.

 

“Remember Lance… If you wake up and you have a weird tattoo, you’ve probably had too much to drink,” Daniel had told me as I said goodbye, only to receive a punch to the arm from Violet, my oldest sister. “What? That’s what happened to me-“

 

“Quit trying to put the kid off, asshole,” She warned, earning a chuckle from mama from across the room. “Don’t worry about it yet Lance… You have years to decide whether you want anybody else’s tattoo on you. Just because Dan was a drunk, doesn’t mean you need to drink your worries away too, so don’t let him pressure you,” She hugged me tightly and I smiled before pulling a face at some of my younger siblings over her shoulder.

 

“What am I gonna do now you’re leaving?” My little brother Miguel asked me as he jumped at me. Miguel was only 2 years younger than I was, making him the closest sibling I had. I knew that things were going to be weird the second I saw his face when I told him I was moving away. “Who am I gonna blame for everything now?” I hugged him tightly, silently kicking myself as I felt my eyes sting as I desperately bit back tears that I promised I wouldn’t let through.

 

“You’ll be fine, and besides, I’m only a state away. You can visit, and I’ll be back every few weeks to come and ruin your life more than I already have,” I promised as I gave him a final squeeze of reassurance before putting him down. He smiled and punched me in the shoulder with a surprising amount of strength.

 

“That’s so you don’t forget me,” He told me, punching the same spot again. “That’ll bruise for a couple of weeks,” I rolled my eyes.

 

After the goodbyes, I climbed into the car, which had been packed for days already, and started to drive, watching the house slowly shrink into the distance through the rear-view mirror. I was sad about leaving my family, but there were so many things out there waiting for me now. I just had to get out there and experience it all before it was too late. Besides, I knew that I couldn’t stay at home forever.

 

My music blasted through the half-broken speakers my dad had haphazardly wired into the car after the old ones broke, and I shamelessly sang along to the music that Miguel had put together on a mixtape for me to listen to on my way to my new life. As terrible as the music was, I found myself practically howling the lyrics to any Shakira song that played as I drove down the highway in the dark. Who cared if anybody saw me singing anyway? I was alone in the car, and I was having a great time.

 

It took 4 hours of driving to get to the first stop, which was a shitty motel in the services on the way to the next state, where I stayed for the night before waking early and climbing back into my car and finishing the remaining 4. It was only as I passed the first sign that I started to get nervous, and I anxiously awaited meeting my new roommates – or, that’s what they had called themselves anyway. We were all living on the same floor of dormitories on campus, meaning we didn’t have to pay rent or buy food for ourselves. This way, I had one less thing to worry about.

 

Of course, with all the important things taken care of, all I had left to do was make some friends. I followed the directions on my phone precisely, and soon found the building I needed to find. Outside, I saw a familiar face which calmed me slightly as I pulled up into one of the parking spots near the doors to the dormitories. Hunk, who I had spoken to over Skype once already, was going to be living next-door to me on the same floor. From what he had said, he had already moved his things into his dorm and had offered to help me get mine upstairs too.

 

He was extremely friendly, and I soon found that us sharing the same first classes was convenient, as I’d have someone to talk to and a reason to talk constantly for the first few hours as I tried to get to know him. It turned out, he was just as enthusiastic about starting here as I was, and we immediately became friends. It was nice to have someone to rely on, especially away from home, and before I knew it, I discovered the faint lines of a tattoo forming on my calf.

 

For a few weeks, neither of us spoke about it. The small pineapple that had appeared on my leg late one night after binge watching yet another season of Hell’s Kitchen with him was almost perfect, and yet I was always too scared to bring it up. It wasn’t until a few days later that I saw a very familiar shape of a rain cloud on the back of his shoulder while he was cooking. That was when it all started, and we were happy.

 

We eventually realised after a few months that it wasn’t going to work, and we broke things off, deciding that being friends was better for the both of us. There were never any hard feelings, and we still had keys to each other’s rooms just in case, so not a lot had changed. Our marathons of cooking shows and terrible soap operas that we found didn’t stop either, and it was always nice to have someone to share things with. We wore each other’s tattoos with pride.

 

For those first few months, we didn’t really speak to many other people, but that soon changed when we started talking to the others on our floor. At the very end of the corridor, Pidge could usually be found with her brother, as she didn’t like the girls’ dorms at all, often insisting on studying late with him with the help of an immense amount of coffee and energy drinks to keep her awake. It was almost insane how she was still breathing, especially after the morning we caught her walking out of the local coffee shop pouring a whole can of energy drink into one of the strongest coffees I had ever seen. When asked what she was doing, she simply responded that it was ‘for science’.

 

Matt was Pidge’s older brother, and was almost silent most of the time, other than when he had papers to finish. In that case, he would be up all night furiously typing away at his computer, much to Hunk’s annoyance as the wall between their rooms was only thin, and the clicking sound of the keyboard could only be dealt with for so many hours of the night. He seemed nice enough, but spent most of his time working and so was rarely back at the dorms. I never really asked what he did.

 

Then there were the others. In the room opposite Hunk, Shiro stayed. It took a while for us to all get to know him completely, but he was pretty much an open book after a few weeks. With a degree already under his belt, much like Matt, Shiro was continuing his studies here, claiming that he didn’t feel ready to leave yet. He was a few years older than the rest of us, but was always up for drinking with us despite our initial thought that he would laugh in our faces. He got on especially well with his neighbor, Keith, who for some reason, didn’t really talk to anybody.

 

He was strange to say the least. He was rarely ever seen out of his room, and on the days he did get out, it was only to attend his classes or reluctantly go out with Shiro. Even then, he looked completely miserable the whole time. I didn’t know what his problem was. The glaring and evil side eyes that I got whenever I spoke around him didn’t make me feel uncomfortable anymore, but it still irritated me to know that he hadn’t even given me a chance to be friendly. When Shiro was around, he was tolerable, although he never really spoke to me or Hunk.

 

The rest of the corridor was filled with those who were either too quiet for us to speak to, or too angry and aggressive to want to. It wasn’t as bad as you’d think though; there were rarely any fights in the building, and when something did come up, Shiro was always the first to put them down when they tried to start trouble. It was like hiding behind an older brother, although he hated that we thought that. The main problem was usually Lotor, who was the only one on our floor to not get along with anybody. He was confrontational, and loved to pick an argument out of nothing. If there was something that pissed him off though, it was when Shiro put a stop to them and shut him up.

 

For the first year, things were amazing. I really started to feel myself grow as a person, and the more I thought about where I was, the happier I felt. Sure, it sucked that I sometimes couldn’t see my family, but I almost always saw them in the holidays, and even if I had to miss a few birthdays, I always managed to make up for it when the time came around for me to go home and see them all again. Miguel even came to stay with me through one of the holidays, which was hilarious, as the small dorm room I had meant that there wasn’t much room, so we had to switch between the floor and my bed each night. It wasn’t like we minded much anyway, because there was never much sleeping happening when we were awake all night talking.

 

So, as the year drew to a close, I found myself packing my things to move back in with my family for the summer. Of course, I’d be coming back to my familiar room after a couple of months, but there were things I needed that I couldn’t leave behind for all that time. I had to take 2 suitcases in the end, both filled with pretty much all of my clothes and shoes, any essentials, and the birthday presents I hadn’t had the chance to give out yet. I was excited to go home, and as I packed the car, I watched the other start to leave too.

 

“It’s gonna be a weird summer,” Pidge said as she jumped onto the back of Hunk’s truck. Since they lived in the same state, Hunk was giving Pidge a ride back, as Matt was not going to be returning home this summer. “I’m almost gonna miss your terrible jokes,” She told me.

 

“They are not terrible,” I argued, gaining a small chuckle from Hunk. “Anyway, it’s only a couple of months and then we’ll all be back, so don’t miss me too much while you’re at home,”

 

“Have you guys seen Keith this morning?” Hunk asked as he closed the door to the truck. I shook my head.

 

“When does anybody see Keith?” Pidge asked.

 

“You know what I mean… We’re all leaving today and he still hasn’t left his room,” He reminded her. He had a point. Keith was never very open to anybody, but we all knew that he was going to have to leave the campus for the summer anyway. He hadn’t mentioned where he was going.

 

As if on cue, a small argument between Keith and Shiro erupted from across the car park. Shiro looked frustrated, not like his usual calm self, and Keith was red in the face, clearly very angry. What had started their argument, none of us knew, and I don’t think we wanted to ask either, but after a few minutes, it seemed to calm down and they walked over, Keith’s arms folded over his chest and stood slightly behind Shiro, completely silent as usual.

 

“Sorry you had to hear that,” Shiro apologised as Pidge gave him a look of confusion. “We were trying to figure out where we were going for the summer,”

 

“Where you were going, don’t you mean,” Keith muttered under his breath, leaning against Hunk’s truck. Shiro shot him a glance and he rolled his eyes. “Shiro is moving out of the dorms,”

 

“You’re what?!” I asked. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I thought you couldn’t afford an apartment yet-“

 

“I couldn’t… But I’ve been saving and I’ve finally got enough money. I won’t be too far away; the building is just around the corner, I just won’t be across the hall anymore.” He justified. Keith rolled his eyes again. “Keith stop being a brat. You know I don’t really have a choice here-“

 

“Yes, you do,” He started, reaching into his pocket, and pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “It’s not like I care anyway,”

 

It was almost awkward to witness. Keith had a blank expression on his face as he lit up a cigarette and blew the smoke away from himself, and Shiro looked completely conflicted. In the year that we had all got to know the two of them, we had learned that they were very close, and always had been. Shiro saw Keith as a younger brother, and although he had never admitted it, it was painfully obvious that Keith relied on Shiro like he was an older brother.

 

After a moment of awkward silence, Shiro finally spoke. “I was going to ask if any of you were sticking around in the state over the summer,”

 

“I’ve gotta drive Pidge back home, and my moms are expecting me home tomorrow,” Hunk said after a moment. Shiro smiled a little and nodded. “Sorry man,”

 

“It’s okay, were all keeping in touch so it’s fine,” He said reassuringly.

 

“I might be able to come back after a couple of weeks,” I suggested. He smiled a little more. “Once the dorms are open again I was planning on coming back anyway. I just wanted to go home for my brother’s birthday,” I explained.

 

“I guess I could do the same, I’ll be in Italy for a couple of weeks though, so it’ll have to be after that,” Pidge told us.

 

“I’ll have to pass it up… I’m in Hawaii for a wedding for most of the holidays,” Hunk added. Shiro nodded.

 

“Take some photos for us,” I asked him, gaining a smile in return. “What about you Keith-“

 

He dropped his cigarette on the ground and put it out with his heel. “I’m having to go back to my foster family for the holidays. Not that I want to though, they’re assholes.” He spat. I raised an eyebrow in surprise. I had no idea he was in foster care. “So yes, my summer is gonna be fucking brilliant thanks for asking,”

 

“Keith, I already told you to come and stay with me instead,” Shiro told him. “You don’t have to be so stubborn-“

 

“Fuck you,” He spat. “You’re leaving again and the only thing you can say is that I’m stubborn?”

 

“Keith, I don’t think he meant it like that,” Hunk tried.

 

“You don’t get it, none of you do.” He said quietly as he picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “I need to catch my train,” He began to walk away in the direction of the main road off to the side of the dorms. Shiro sighed and rubbed his temples, frustrated.

 

“… How have you put up with that for so long?” I asked him. “Was he the same as a kid?”

 

“Keith has his issues. He’s just worried about people leaving him again, which technically, he’s perfectly within his rights to do…” He sat on the back of the truck next to Pidge, and watched as he left. “The kid has been through enough shit for the five of us put together. He doesn’t like change, that’s all,”

 

Pidge half rolled her eyes. “Was he like this when he first started here?” She asked Shiro. He nodded a little.

 

“Not this bad, but he kicked off at pretty much anything that he could. Lost every job he managed to get, yelled at his foster parents over the phone, refused to speak to anybody… He has some walls up that he’s having trouble breaking down I guess,” He explained. That made a lot of sense. I understood why he didn’t really speak to us when we were in a larger group of people. It had taken a whole year for him to cooperate when it was just the five of us.

 

“I didn’t know he didn’t have a proper family before now,” Hunk said. Shiro nodded.

 

“I’ve been friends with Keith since he was about 7. His dad died in a car accident and his piece of shit of a mother had already left by the time I met him. He was on his own. He lived with me for a while after the accident, but my family didn’t have enough room to permanently look after him, so he went into foster care.” I raised an eyebrow in surprise. “I was nearly 19 when it happened, so when I moved out, I let him come and stay when he needed to. The reason he’s so pissed at me for leaving is because I moved away for a couple of years and forgot to keep in touch,”

 

“Ouch...” Pidge put a hand on his shoulder. “That was kind of a dick move, Shiro,”

 

“Well yeah, but he shouldn’t get so hung up on it. How many years ago was it now? Surely, he can’t hold a grudge for that long,” I argued.

 

“He’ll come around eventually,” Hunk assured him, just as one of the wardens started walking toward the dorms to check that everyone had left. “Looks like it’s time to go,”

“I guess it is…” Pidge said, climbing into the truck after quickly hugging us all. “See you losers next year,”

 

“Fucking rude,” I said, nudging her shoulder. “Let us know if you make any progress on the robot,”

 

“You’ll be the first to know,” She assured. “I’ll see if I can get a video of it attacking Matt for the group chat,” Shiro Grinned at the thought of seeing it.

 

After they left, I stood with Shiro for a while as he packed up his car, and then, after an hour or so, got into the car and started driving home. I almost felt a little sad to be leaving, but I knew that it wouldn’t be long before I was back and stressing over papers again, or drinking with Hunk and Shiro, or bribing Pidge to hack into the system to give me better attendance when I wanted to sleep in for the day. It was going to be a long summer, I realised. I wanted to see my family, and yet there was a feeling in my gut that I couldn’t escape; the dread of things being so busy again.

 

I had just got used to living alone for the first time, and having to go back to the home I was raised in and sharing everything again was almost daunting. With the whole family living in one house, it was always busy, and having gotten used to the quiet of my own company, I was almost dreading returning. The drive was almost completely uneventful, and for most of the drive, I spent in silence, with the stereo not working as well as it had been at the start of the year.

 

In all honesty, I felt a little exhausted. So much had happened in the last year, and I just wanted to spend a few days sleeping off the stress of having to move again, but of course, there was no rest in the Mcclain house. The second I arrived, I was wrestled to the floor by three of my younger brothers and my little sister Sophie had already tried to tie my hair up before I had even got in the door. It was nice to see everyone again, and almost strange to see the youngest looking so different in comparison to the last time I saw them.

 

Of course, Miguel was the happiest to see me, and the second I was free from the grabby hands of our siblings and nieces and nephews, he attached to my side and didn’t let me go for an entire day. It was nice, because I felt at home again, even though it was uncomfortable being hassled by so many people at once. I slumped down into my usual seat in the corner of the sofa in our small living room and breathed a sigh of relief at the feeling of being back with my family again. With Miguel at my side and my niece Izzy sat on my knee as we watched a movie on the old tv, I felt content, more so than I had in a few weeks at least.

 

I was going to miss my new friends. In fact, I already was. I wouldn’t tell them that, of course, because that would probably just make me look needy and like I needed constant attention, which, in all seriousness, I did sometimes. I didn’t want them to think that of me though, and so I muted our group chat for the first week of the holidays so that I could reconnect with everyone at home without any distractions from the outside world. However, after the first day of my social media hiatus, I already felt overwhelmed, and it was almost impossible to not look at my phone to distract myself from what was going on around me every 10 minutes or so.

 

After the first week, I found myself just staring at the ceiling as I tried to get to sleep at night, looking up at the glow in the dark star stickers that Miguel had insisted on putting up when we were kids and had never since been taken down. It was around 3am, but I couldn’t seem to get my brain to shut off no matter how hard I tried. The room seemed too quiet without the white noise of my brother’s snoring and I silently hoped that he would come home soon so that I would be able to get to sleep. It wasn’t like I actually had anything to do the following day, but it would have been nice to have some form of rest, even if it was only a few hours. I sighed and turned onto my side, facing the wall, and pressing my face into a pillow.

 

It was going to be a really long summer if it carried on this way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For most people, the summer is an escape from school or work. 
> 
> For Keith, it's the worst time of the year.

**KEITH**

If there was something I hated more than being forced to study, it was going home for the summer.

For years, I had avoided being at ‘home’ as much as I possibly could. As much as the family who had been forced to look after me for the last few years had tried to make this place feel like home, it was just an empty shell, and I didn’t like being around them at all. Lynn, my foster mother, always tried to be as pleasant as she could around me, and I appreciated the gesture, but she wasn’t real family. I couldn’t just accept her as family without being able to trust her. Her husband’s name was Philippe, and he was, in the kindest of terms, an asshole. In the last 3 years, he had only ever shouted at me for doing nothing wrong, and I didn’t take too kindly to him raising his voice when I was already irritated at having to live in the same house as him.

I hadn’t really spoken to Shiro since our argument, and I wasn’t going to until I walked back into the house I was very reluctant to call home that I decided I should. The atmosphere of the place made my whole body tense up and I hated it. The house wasn’t its usual, stilled silence that was only interrupted by the occasional cough or background noise of the TV. Instead, there was laughing – children’s laughter resonating around the house. It was like I’d walked into a nightmare.

I placed my bag down by the door and slowly took off my shoes, the feeling of unease growing in my gut as I looked around at the familiar furnishings. “… Lynn? Are you home?” I called as I stepped forward toward the living area. I was immediately stopped by a hand on my shoulder.

“You’re late,” Philippe pointed out monotonously. I bit my tongue, not wanting to say anything I would regret.

“Train was late…” I told him quietly. He didn’t reply. Instead, he took his hand off my shoulder and handed me a set of keys.

“We renovated. Your room is upstairs on the right, it’s the red key for the red door,” He told me. I nodded, knowing the drill. This had been the way things worked since I started living here. Lynn and Philippe fostered kids until they got permanent homes, and so their house was more like a more personalised care home. I had always had the same room, but apparently, things had changed since I moved out.

“Thanks,” I said, shoving the keys into the pocket of my leather jacket. He looked down at my pockets.

“You’re smoking again?” He questioned, a stern look on his face and his jaw set as it always was. I didn’t want to say anything, but as I opened my mouth to reply, he grabbed my arm and pulled the pack of cigarettes and my lighter from my pocket. “Not in this house you aren’t. Gracie is asthmatic and Cal copies everything you do,” I wanted to snatch them back, but he was right. It wasn’t fair on the other kids that lived here, so instead of arguing, I simply put my hands in my pockets and walked back over to the door to grab my bag.

“I take it you want me to go and unpack,” I said simply, walking toward the stairs silently. When he didn’t reply, I chuckled slightly. “I’ll be in my room then,”

Not a lot had changed since I left. Of course, my room was now the smallest room in the house, and I noticed that there was a significantly smaller number of my personal belongings here than there were when I left. I wasn’t mad about that though, because things had always gone missing when I moved around. Usually, it was the other kids in the homes that didn’t have much of their own, so a lot of the time, they would steal from the people that did have their own belongings. Luckily, I had decided to take the most important things with me when I left.

“… Keef,” A small, childlike voice barely whispered from the doorway. I turned away from the wardrobe that I was putting my clothes into, to see the familiar 6-year-old that I hadn’t seen since I moved away.

I put on my best fake smile immediately. “Hey Gracie…” I placed the clothes that I had in my hands on the bed, and before I had the chance to blink, she had jumped at me.

“You didn’t come home…” She muttered as she locked her arms around my neck tightly. “Dad said you were gone for good and I wouldn’t see you again,”

I gritted my teeth a little and sat down on my bed, sitting her on my knee so she would let go of her death grip around my neck. “Why would he tell you that?” I asked her. She shrugged, leaning her head on my shoulder.

“Cal called you a nasty name but I’m not allowed to say it because dad said I won’t be allowed on the swing for a week,” She told me, her voice quiet, almost timid. She wasn’t this way when I left, I knew for sure. It had been a year though, and I guessed that maybe this was just her starting to grow up like a normal kid. “Keef?”

“Hm?”

 “Can I see your drawing again?” She asked me sweetly. I smiled a little more genuinely and carefully sat her on the bed next to me, before lifting my left leg onto the bed and pulling up my jeans a little to reveal the tattoo on my ankle. She looked at it curiously, like she had never seen it before, and smiled. “It’s a volcano,”

I nodded. “Yeah… only this one is erupting,” I pointed out, showing her the smoke that was rising out of the top of it. She grinned.

“Is that because you get angry sometimes?” She asked innocently. “’Cause Cal says that your drawing always tells people something about you, and you and dad always shout at each other so maybe it’s a volcano because you get angry sometimes,” She explained further. I smiled a little and covered it again, but shrugged.

“Maybe… I guess that would make sense, but we never really know what our drawings mean, there isn’t anything that tells us what they really are,” I explained. She nodded and looked at her foot for a moment. “I’m sure if you really wish hard enough, yours will be a flower like you’ve wanted it to be,” Her face lit up and she hugged me again.

Gracie and I were fostered at the same time by Lynn and Philippe. She was only 2 and a half at the time, and could barely speak, but she was always taught what happened to her real parents so that things wouldn’t get confusing as she got older. She was a typical adorable 6-year old; long blonde hair and big brown eyes, and she would almost always be running around in a Disney princess dress unless she was told to wear something normal. She wasn’t like the other kids in the orphanage. She used to run around as best as she could, following me like a lost lamb. It was the first time I had someone who was almost looking up to me, and it was nice to know that there was someone that relied on me.

Over the last few years, Gracie had been the only reason I kept coming back here. Through all the time I had been in and out of homes, I never liked staying in one place, mainly because the families always tried too hard to make me comfortable, or I didn’t trust them enough to stay. This home, or house, was different. I stayed because I had family here. This little girl, although not a blood relative, was the closest thing I had to a family, and I wanted to make sure she knew that I wasn’t going to just up and leave her behind. She was the little sister I never asked for, never had, and never knew I needed. Gracie was my only family.

So, when I sat in my room alone listening to music and wanting to be left alone, she was the only person I would gladly let in to sit with me. The rest of them were simply extra heads that would occasionally pop in to make sure I was still breathing so they got their stupid money, or to make sure I hadn’t drawn on the walls like a kid. I worked at the weekends as usual, just to make sure I always had money so that I had a quick out if I needed it, but it wasn’t like I wanted to. It bored me, and sometimes, I would just stay in bed. On my bad days, I’d lock my door and pull out my guitar from the corner and just play my music like nothing else mattered, and even when I couldn’t see behind the door, I knew that Gracie would be listening from outside.

Days turned into weeks as I slowly dragged my way through the summer, and after 3 long weeks of no contact with Shiro or the others in our dorm, I finally got a phone call that I almost didn’t answer. I had been sat outside for once, forced to watch the other kids while Lynn and Philippe were out shopping, so the loud, blaring sound of a My Chemical Romance song playing as Shiro’s ringtone made me jump as I sat under the tree in the garden and watched the younger kids play pretend like they usually did. I looked at the screen and frowned slightly, knowing either way, I would get a lecture from him, so it left me no other choice but to answer the phone.

“What?” I asked as I answered, pressing the phone to my ear and looking down at my feet.

“Keith! I’ve been trying to get hold of you for weeks. You feeling okay?” He asked, his voice its usual chirpy tone. I rolled my eyes slightly.

“I’ve not had one text, but sure. I’m having the time of my life here, I think I’m gonna make the effort to never leave home just so I can watch Philippe squirm every time I walk in the room,” I said, my words dripping with sarcasm. Shiro laughed down the phone, which made me smile a little. “But seriously, he’s glared at me every time I’ve walked in the room, it’s so uncomfortable,”

“That sucks man… I feel you, honestly.” He said with a sigh. “Anyway… I was calling to check up on you… I’ve just got settled at my apartment, so if you wanna come and stay that would be great, I have a spare room too so you don’t have to crash on the floor again, and I can provide all the drink and smokes as your gay heart desires,” He joked. I snorted.

“Wow, bringing up the whole gay thing again huh? That really fucking tickled you didn’t it, asshole?” I laughed a little, his offer really was something I was considering. I had another 3 weeks of this left, and I wasn’t sure that I could deal with another child screaming at 3am until I went back to my dorm. “But the offer’s tempting, I’ll give you that… I might just take you up on it, I’m only half an hour away, right?”

“Yeah, and I have a car now remember, so you won’t have to worry about catching the train. I can come and fetch you if you want,” He offered. “Oh, and I forgot, I’m having a party on Friday – all the guys off our floor and Pidge, and Allura from the coffee shop is bringing some friends too. You’ve gotta come,” He told me, and I groaned in frustration.

“You know I hate parties with people I don’t know,” I whined as I reminded him, idly drawing shapes into the dirt with a fallen twig that I had grabbed off the floor. He chuckled. “Please tell me you didn’t invite Lotor,”

“Why the fuck would I invite Lotor? He’s an asshole and I don’t really want him knowing where my apartment is thanks, I might get murdered in my sleep or something,” I laughed, watching as Gracie waved at me from the middle of the garden. I waved back. “C’mon, it’ll be fun, I promise,”

“Okay fine, I’ll come to your dumb party. But you owe me so much alcohol, and it had better be the good shit too,” I insisted. I watched as I saw the car pull up at the front of the house and sighed.

“Good… And I’m guessing from that drawn out sigh that the foster parents from hell are home?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’d better get going before good old Phil yells at me for influencing technology on the kids,” I joked. Shiro laughed again.

“I’ll come by later to pick you up for a drink, I have a gig tonight, you’re still coming, right?” I grinned as I got to my feet and brushed the dirt off my jeans.

“Obviously, I never miss your shows, just don’t get here after 8 or Phil might think I’m going on a date or some shit,” I joked.

He laughed again. “Have fun, I’ll come and pick you up at 7, have some stuff packed,”

Gracie soon ran up to me as I hung the phone up to ask who I’d been talking to, and I picked her up again, not even bothering to struggle as she started to tie my hair up in the most awkward places on my head. I carried her inside and helped Lynn put everything away before letting her know that I wasn’t going to be staying in that night. She raised an eyebrow as I mentioned Shiro.

“Shiro? Is he-“

“No, we aren’t dating, he’s an old school friend and he’s like, 5 years older than me. He has a gig tonight, that’s all, so I’m going for the free drinks,” I explained for the fourth time. She always asked about any guy I mentioned when I said I was going out. It was always irritating, but I knew deep down she was just concerned. The same couldn’t be said for her asshole of a husband, who always gave me the same disgusted look as I spoke, just like he was doing now. I glared back just to show him that I could, in fact, see him. “And I think Pidge and Hunk are staying too, so you have nothing to worry about,”

“Hunk?” He asked, snorting a little at his name. “You like this guy too? And is this Pidge another guy you like?” I narrowed my eyes as Lynn hit him in the shoulder.

“Phil stop it,” She warned.

“What? I’m just curious as to who’s going to be brought home with him one day-“

“Hunk’s a catering student and Pidge is a girl who can hack into all of your bank accounts if you even try to mis-gender her, so I’d be careful what you say,” I warned, folding my arms over my chest. He raised an eyebrow in surprise. “And before you ask, Shiro is like family, so no, I’m not interested in him,”

“That makes a change-“

“Phil you’re not making this any easier,” Lynn warned again, shoving some tins of food into his hands for him to put away. “Just leave him alone,”

“Yeah, _Phil,_ ” I teased as I emptied another bag of shopping. I wasn’t about to give in and admit that he was getting to me, so instead, I responded the only way I knew how – by being a little shit. “Don’t want the poor orphan boy calling his social worker on you now, do you?”

“Enough.” Lynn said as she put the last bag away with practiced hands. “Phil, go and get the kids down for dinner, and Keith, room. Now. I don’t have the energy to deal with you two bickering, I have things that need to be done.”

I didn’t argue with her. Mainly because I didn’t have the energy to get into an argument with someone I didn’t actually hate, but also because I knew that she didn’t need the stress, especially as she was married to the equivalent of the fucking antichrist. I quietly sat in my room for a couple of hours and packed some things for the stay at Shiro’s place, and then decided to pack the rest of my things into a suitcase ready to go back to my dorm in a week or so. I hadn’t planned on staying here for this long, but I was starting to get more and more frustrated with always having people around, and I knew that soon enough I was just going to need my own space again.

Shiro arrived in his car at half past 6, as always, way too early, dressed in a simple pair of black jeans and a black and white flannel shirt – his go-to look for the nights he was performing at the bar. I didn’t hear the door at first, so when he suddenly appeared at my door while I was shoving another pair of jeans into my bag, I nearly had a heart attack. He laughed and shook his head as I fell to the floor, clutching my chest in fake shock.

“You’re such a drama queen sometimes,” He joked, pulling me to my feet. I rolled my eyes and lightly punched him in the arm. “Is there any reason the kids were all staring at me when I walked in?”

“Oh yeah… Probably because Phil thinks we’re dating and they’re all little shits and will probably try and wind me up about you for the next week,” I told him casually. He laughed again.

“Keef?” Gracie’s confused voice from the doorway made Shiro immediately turn around. I smiled and walked over to her, picking her up.

“Hey princess,” I said, gesturing to the Cinderella dress she had chosen to wear for the day. Shiro smiled at her, as she was staring straight at him with a confused look on her face. “What’s wrong?”

“Who’s that?” She whispered into my ear.

“This is Shiro, we went to school together,” I told her, to which she relaxed a little and stopped staring. “Shiro, this is Gracie,” She waved shyly at him, then her eyes found the tattoos on his forearm and her jaw dropped.

“You have loads of drawings!” She exclaimed excitedly. Shiro smiled a little as she wriggled out of my arms and rushed over to him, taking his hand and pulling him down a little more so she could get a better look at the tattoos. “Woah… People must love you a lot, are you famous?” She asked him.

“No, I’m not famous,” He assured her with a warm smile. She looked up at him.

“Then why do you have so many drawings? Do you just love everyone? Do you have Keef’s volcano too-“

“Gracie, come on… Stop making him uncomfortable,” I insisted, prying her fingers away from his arm. Shiro chuckled. “Sorry Shiro, she’s a little bit curious,”

“It’s okay,” He told me, kneeling in front of her. “How old are you, Gracie?”

She held up 6 fingers proudly. “This many!” I smiled and shook my head. “But Keef is old,” She told him, giggling.

“Is he? How old is Keith?” He asked her. She looked down at her hands and giggled.

“I don’t have enough fingers. That makes him olddddd,” She stuck her tongue out at me, and I returned the gesture as I leant against the wall at the end of my bed. “But you have more drawings than Keef, so you’re cool,”

“Rude, I’ll have you know that I like just having my drawing thank you very much,” I told her as I faked being offended. She giggled louder and ran over to me.

“Are you going out Keef?” She asked sweetly as she hugged my legs. I nodded and she frowned a little. “But it’s not bedtime yet and you need to read me a story…”

“It’s okay Gracie, we aren’t leaving until after your bedtime anyway, so I can stay and wait until you need to go to bed, just so I can read you to sleep, okay?” I asked. She grinned and nodded.

And we did just that. As the clock hit 7, the younger kids were ushered into bed and I picked her up and carried her into her room. The nightly routine was always the same; brush teeth, wash face, pyjamas, story, sleep. It was nice that she always fell asleep halfway through her favourite story, as it meant I was able to sneak out of the room earlier, but tonight, she was being unusually picky with the story she wanted me to read to her.

“Gracie come on… Choose a story,” I tried as she flicked through the large blue book of bedtime stories I’d got her for her birthday for the third time. “How about Cinderella? You like that one,” I suggested. She pulled a face.

“But we always read Cinderella… I want a new story,” She complained, looking at the names of the short stories in the illustrated contents page. “I’ve found one! I want that one!” She pointed at a story on the right had side of the page, which was called ‘The Tinderbox’. I smiled a little.

“Okay, you settle down then…” I told her, flicking to the page in the book as she snuggled down into bed with her teddy bear cuddled close to her chest. I started to read the story, remembering the words as they were told to me as a child, simply letting them roll of my tongue in a quiet and soothing voice as she listened intently.

_“A long time ago, a poor soldier was returning from the war, when he met a strange old woman in the forest… ‘You look like a man in need of riches,’ cackled the woman. ‘I can help you,’_

_‘How?’ asked the poor soldier._

_‘Take my apron and climb into that hollow tree over there,’ said the old woman. ‘You will find a staircase leading down to a cave where there are three doors leading into rooms. In the first room, you will find a dog with eyes the size of saucers guarding a chest full of copper coins, In the second, you will find a dog with eyes the size of dinner plates guarding a chest full of silver. And in the third room, you will find a dog with eyes the size of cartwheels guarding a chest full of gold. If you place each dog on my apron, they will sit quietly as you help yourself to their treasures.’_

_‘Sounds great!’ cried the soldier, climbing into the tree._

_‘But wait.’ Cried the old woman. ‘all I ask in return is that you bring me an old tinderbox that you will find there,’_

_The soldier quickly agreed. What could an old tinderbox be worth? After all, a tinderbox was only used to spark a flame, rather like matches are used nowadays._

_Soon, the soldier found himself in a cave deep beneath the tree. As the old woman had said, there were three doors to choose from. The soldier threw open the first door and entered a room guarded by a dog with eyes the size of saucers._

_Though the dog was rather scary, the solider was a very brave man, and felt little fear as he placed it on the old woman’s apron. The dog was calm as the solider opened the chest and filled one pocket with copper coins._

_Then the solider moved onto the second room. The room was guarded by a dog with eyes the size of dinner plates. Once again, the soldier felt little fear as he placed the dog on the apron and filled his other pocket with silver coins._

_Next, he moved onto the third room. When he saw the dog with eyes the size of cartwheels, he couldn’t help feeling a moment’s fear. But he quickly placed the dog on the apron. Then, he lifted the lid of the chest and was amazed to find more gold than he’d ever dreamed of. The soldier threw out the copper and silver coins and filled his pockets with gold._

_The soldier found the tinderbox, and climbed back up the staircase to where the old woman was waiting._

_‘For being so honest, I will let you keep the tinderbox as well as the coins,’ cackled the old woman. And with that, she simply disappeared._

_The solider slipped the tinderbox into his bag and thought nothing more of it as he continued his journey. Before long, he reached a fine town in which to live. No one would have known that he was just a poor soldier. He soon made many friends and he spent his money freely._

_One day, one of the soldier’s new friends told him about a beautiful princess who was locked within the palace walls._

_‘No-one but the king and queen can visit her,’ explained the soldier’s friend. ‘For it has been foretold that she will marry a poor soldier, and her parents don’t want her to meet such a man,’_

_The soldier wanted to meet the princess but he did not see how he could, so he put the idea out of his head. He continued to live a fine life, until he awoke one morning to find that all his money had been spent. After that, he had to move into a tiny hut._

_One night, as he sat in his hut wishing that he had something to light his candle with, he remembered the tinderbox. He took it out and struck it once with the flint. Immediately, the dog with eyes the size of saucers appeared. He struck it a second time and the dog with eyes the size of dinner plates appeared. He stuck a third time and the dog with eyes the size of cartwheels appeared._

_‘What can we do for you, master?’ roared the dogs in unison. The soldier asked them to bring him all the copper, silver, and gold they could. And so, he was rich once more._

_Back in his grand house, the soldier continued to live his fine life, although sometimes he couldn’t help but feel lonely. One night, when he looked at the tinderbox, he had an idea. He took out the flint and stuck it once. Immediately, the dog with eyes the size of saucers appeared._

_‘I wish to see the princess,’ explained the soldier. And before he had time to say any more, the dog disappeared and returned with the sleeping princess. She was so beautiful that the soldier kissed her hand. Then, the dog returned her to the palace._

_The next morning, the princess told the king and queen that she had dreamt about riding on the back of a giant dog, and being kissed on the back of the hand by a handsome soldier._

_‘Doesn’t sound like a dream,’ Thought the queen. That night, she had a servant watch over the princess. Again, the soldier sent the dog to fetch the princess, but this time the servant followed and saw the dog take her to the soldier’s house._

_The servant made a white cross on the door so that she would be able to show the queen where it was in the morning. But when the dog took the princess home and he saw the cross on the door, he marked crosses on all the doors in town._

_There was no way the queen could find the house in the morning, but she did not give up. She tied a bag of sand to the princess’ waist and filled it with sand, then snipped a hole in it. That night, when the dog carried the princess to the soldier’s house, he did not notice the trail of sand that he had left behind._

_The next day, the king and queen quickly found the soldier._

_‘Have you anything to say before we throw you into prison?’ Asked the king._

_‘Just that you allow me to smoke one last pipe,’ Replied the soldier._

_The king could not refuse such a request, so the soldier took out his tinderbox and struck the flint three time. In a flash, the three giant dogs appeared before him._

_‘Save me!” Cried the soldier. The dog with eyes the size of cartwheels stood guard over the king and queen while the other two carried the soldier and the princess to a faraway kingdom._

_As luck would have it, this kingdom didn’t have a king and queen of their own, so when they saw the princess and her golden crown, they insisted on her becoming their queen. And of course, she insisted on the solider becoming her king.”_

I closed the book carefully and looked at Gracie’s sleeping face. She looked peaceful; more so than she did in consciousness, and happy. I carefully sat up and tucked her in properly before returning to Shiro, who had been stood outside waiting for me, only to find him stood there with a smug look on his face.

“What?” I asked in a small whisper. He chuckled as we started to walk down to the door, my bag already slung over my shoulder.

“It’s funny, you always said you hated kids,” He pointed out. I narrowed my eyes at him slightly.

“I do, what’s your point?”

“My point is that she isn’t the same as the others, is she?” He asked. I hated to admit that he was right, but of course, Shiro saw through the front I always tried to put on. He always did. “She’s a little sister to you, and that’s okay,” He assured.

“Sure…” I said, unconvinced. “Tell anyone and I’ll cut you, you hear me?” Shiro snorted and lightly pushed me to the side as we got to the door, and I cracked a proper smile.

The drive to Shiro’s apartment didn’t involve a mention of home, or Gracie, or of anything personal actually. It was nice to finally be back to normal without having to put in any effort to try and force myself to tell people things, even if it was only Shiro and I in the car. He talked about the gigs he had done since we last spoke, and how much work he’d managed to get done considering the move, and all in all, it was nice to just hear him talk about things going so well for him.

And for a while, I just let my mind roam, not having to thing about my problems or what was going to happen in the coming days. Because I felt more at home around someone I saw as family. Shiro was home. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is a shitty wingman and Shiro knows it, but what other choice does he have?

**SHIRO**

Having Keith back to his usual self was nice. It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried to get in contact with him, but it was never easy when he went back to his foster family. They pretty much cut off his access to all forms of social media, so our group chat was probably not working for the whole 3 weeks he was away. I had never actually been to the house before, so it was a surprise to be invited in straight away. From what Keith had said about his foster family, I had thought them to be much worse than they were. There were kids running around downstairs, many of them younger than 12 by the look of It, which I just knew Keith would love complaining about the second I saw him. He had always hated kids, ever since the day we met back in school; anybody younger than he was would be immediately on his shit list, no questions asked.

That was why, when I saw him with Gracie, I was so surprised. He was never that affectionate toward anyone, and never so comfortable speaking to someone than he was when she was around. It was almost strange to see it, but it was comforting at the same time. Keith had someone back here that he cared about, and so he would always call this place home, no matter what happened. It was because of little Gracie that he came home at all, or so it seemed, for as we left the house once she’d got to sleep, the reception he got from the other kids was frosty, and frankly, uncomfortable. It was clear to me, and would be clear to anybody else that visited, that Keith was the outsider.

“So, this gig,” He interrupted my thoughts as I started the car. I sighed and nodded, a little irritated that I was being asked to work on one of my only days off. “You’re opening the night again?”

“Sadly,” I confirmed, keeping my eyes on the road as he looked down at his phone in the passenger seat. “I did want to get some sleep before work tomorrow, but I guess it’s always too good to be true when I finally have some time off,” Keith snorted in agreement. He had recently started working in a local music shop, after being fired from the coffee shop in the middle of town for having a bad attitude earlier in the year. He worked most of the week as far as I knew, as I was always visiting to buy replacement equipment when my own got damaged.

“Yeah, it sucks and all, but at least you get free shit when I can get it for you,” He reminded me. I chuckled. “Thace still has no idea about the guitar, by the way. Or if he does, he hasn’t said anything,”

“Thank fuck for that, I’d hate to be the reason you got fired,” I admitted, realising the seriousness of what he had done to get me that guitar for my birthday. “I can’t believe you haven’t already though to be honest. You’re a fucking slacker, Keith.”

That was 100% true, and there was no denying it either. Whenever I did go to buy equipment from Thace’s shop, Keith was never actually doing any work. He usually just sat behind the desk with some headphones on at the computer, ignoring everyone that walked in. I knew that he was trying, even if it didn’t look like it, but what worried me was that this was probably the only stable job he was going to get while he was at college. Keith, as everyone knew, was a hothead. He kicked off at the smallest of inconveniences, and he had been like it since we first met as kids. It wasn’t like he wanted to be, it was just who he was. It didn’t make him a bad person, it just meant he wasn’t able to keep jobs (or friends) very easily.

“Hey, I get away with it. That counts for something, surely,” He argued. “Hey, is there somewhere-“

“Just smoke in the car, Keith. I’ve already said you can, I do,” I told him before he could finish his sentence. He breathed a sigh of relief as he reached into his pocket and lit up a cigarette, rolling the window down a little and blowing the smoke outside. “How have you even survived without them for 3 weeks?” I asked in disbelief.

“I did leave the house sometimes, y’know. I had to go to work,"

We soon pulled up outside my apartment block, and I got out of the car, heading up the stairs and towards the elevator and jabbing the button impatiently. Keith looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings, but he didn’t look uncomfortable like he usually did in situations like this. His facial expression was almost completely blank. I smiled a little as the elevator reached the ground and we walked in.

“Which floor?” Keith asked.

“6th,” I said. He practically punched the button to take us to the 6th floor. I snorted at the expression he made in mockery of the panel with the buttons on. “What the fuck are you doing?” I asked, almost unable to stop myself from laughing.

This was the thing with Keith; he was actually very funny. Under the exterior he put on to make himself look all sullen and hostile, he was still just a kid who wanted to have a laugh. I don’t think he had ever really shown anybody that side other than myself, Pidge and Matt, but it was always there, waiting for the right moment to crack a joke that would leave the entire room in stitches for about an hour. Most of the time, his jokes were even funnier because nobody expected _Keith_ of all people to come out with some of the things he said. Really, Keith was just a complete dork, and although few people saw that side of him, I always silently hoped that one day he would be comfortable enough around the rest of our friends to show that.

He dropped his bag in his room once we got into my apartment and then made his way into the kitchen as casually as I had grown to expect from him. I watched as he simply threw the fridge open and looked inside, pulling out the milk from the door. I raised an eyebrow as he poured some into a glass, a little concerned.

“Keith?”

“What?” He asked, setting the carton down on the counter and picking up the glass. My eyes widened.

“Keith what the fuck, you’re lactose intolerant!” I cried, taking the glass form him. He simply gave me a confused look. “You’ll make yourself sick,”

“… Shiro that’s almond milk,” He told me, pointing at the carton. I double checked, then sighed, relieved. “You need a fucking break, I swear. Are you always in dad mode or is it just while you’ve been living alone? Do I need to get you a dog or something to look after so you'll get off my back?” He asked, taking the glass back and laughing quietly. I sighed.

“Sorry… I forgot, my head isn’t exactly screwed on right lately, I’m a fucking mess,” I admitted as I slumped down into a chair at the table. Keith sipped his drink and leaned on the counter. “I lied to you tonight. I don’t have a gig. I needed a wingman,”

Keith’s face dropped. “No.” He said simply. “Shiro you promised you wouldn’t do this to me again, I’m not standing at that stupid bar and watch you fail at flirting with someone.”

“Keith come on, you know I don’t want to do this, it’s just that Allura-“

“I KNEW YOU LIKED HER!” He practically screamed, slamming the glass down on the counter. “Shiro please don’t tell me that you’re dragging me along to a date with Allura, I’m not down for being an awkward third wheel on another date you're going on,”

I sighed. “It isn’t a date. I needed a drink and Allura is gonna be at the bar tonight, I just didn’t want to show up alone,” I told him honestly. He glared at me. “Oh come on, you know you’re not exactly the first option I’ve got, everyone else who wot make me look like an idiot is busy, so you’re my last chance here,”

“What about Matt?” He asked. “You know he’s way better at this than I am,”

“I would have asked Matt, but he’s in Italy staying with family still. So is Pidge,” I reminded him. He sighed.

“And Hunk-“

“Is in Hawaii at a wedding until 2 days before everyone is supposed to go back,” I said. Keith sighed. “And before you ask, Lance is still with family. Last I heard, he wasn’t coming back for another week, I’ve asked already,”

Although very reluctant, Keith agreed to come with me in the end, only with the promise of enough alcohol to make him forget what happened. We had a few drinks in the apartment before we left, deciding that walking would probably be the best idea as the bar was only a couple of blocks away and it would be easy to get back home. It was about 10:30 by the time we got into the bar, and it was getting pretty busy, although I had seen this place so busy that people were packed shoulder to shoulder as they just tried to get in. Tonight, it wasn’t so busy, and it was easier to move around, and we were even able to grab two seats at the bar instead of having to hover around.

“Okay, what’s the strongest you have?” Keith immediately asked the bartender. I rolled my eyes and chuckled, handing over a membership card and ordering our drinks. “Man, you owe me like, 6 of these at least,” He told me.

“That’s fine, I got you here, that’s the reward I get.” I joked, sipping my drink, and taking a look around.

The bar was called the Pit, and I had worked here part time since I started college. It was a pretty small bar, but the atmosphere was something that drew people in. It wasn’t your average place to go for a night of drunken dancing, but that was always an option on the lower floor that the bar on the ground floor overlooked. With the separation of the two floors, that left the main room for performers, and that as where I came in.

When I first started working, I was pretty much still a kid. I hadn’t moved out of my parents’ house and I was simply working to pay them something for keeping me there, even though they never explicitly asked for anything. I collected empty glasses, cleaned tables, and dealt with complaints for the first few months, which was far from glamorous, but it was work nonetheless. Every night, there would be a different act playing on the ground floor. Most of the time, they were shitty bands and aspiring comedians, but the variety always got people to buy drinks. At this point, I was only just starting my first year at college, and took my guitar everywhere I went, but at work, it was a secret. Nobody knew about my music, and initially, I wanted to keep it a secret.

That didn’t last long.

It was when I met Matt for the first time and we went out drinking at the Pit that I let it slip in a drunken karaoke night that inevitably turned into my first real performance in front of more than 40 people. It all started with Matt making a fool out of himself trying to sing Karma Chameleon after 6 Jager bombs, and ended the following morning, with the two of us passed out in my dorm on the floor. The next time I turned up for work, I was immediately pulled aside by my boss. I thought I was going to get fired for making myself look like a dick on my night off, but the offer I got instead was better than I ever could have expected. Now, I get free drinks and get paid more for doing less, and I have nothing to thank other than Matt and his insistence on getting me drunk that night.

It took us about an hour before we started to feel the alcohol kicking in, and as Keith drank more, I saw him start to loosen up a little, not caring what he was saying as he started talking openly to anybody who came over to talk to us. It was strange at first, because I knew that in a sober state, Keith wouldn’t talk to anybody unless he was forced, but right now, he seemed perfectly happy trying to insult someone who had just knocked his drink over. It was after his first small argument that I saw the small group of people walking into the bar.

They were the usual; dance students by the look of them, all dressed in similar clothes, having just emerged from a late night rehearsal, and all of them familiar. I didn’t know all of their names, but there were a few that stuck out to everybody. I didn’t take too much notice, until I saw the familiar white hair in the middle of the little crowd and I had to do a double take. She was here.

“Hey, ‘Kashi stop staring,” Keith slurred slightly, shoving another drink into my hand. “You look weird,” I nudged his arm, making him stumble as he got up out of his seat.

“Will you shut up? Do I need to buy you another drink or something?” I asked. Keith snorted and jumped back into his seat. I rolled my eyes and ordered him another drink, then looked back at the group. Again, I had to do a double take, because there wasn’t only one new addition to the group tonight.

Holy shit.

“Keith, look,” I grabbed his shoulder and spun him around in his seat, pointing toward the group. He squinted as he looked, leaning forwards as though the few inches he had moved would make any difference at all in what he was seeing. When he was silent for a moment, I turned to look at him, only to find him staring, wide eyed. “Is that really-“

“Yeah,” He confirmed in a small voice. “Definitely,”

Lance was always as open as anything about his dancing, and so it really shouldn’t have been a surprise to me that he was here. What confused me was how he had claimed to be staying at home for another week, because he was definitely not spending time with family. He was dancing, even as they made their way down to the lower floor. Dancing as he squeezed past the drunken groups of people on the ground floor. Dancing as he walked down the stairs. Keith’s face was something I never thought I’d see, and I tried to hold back my laughter as he danced past.

“He didn’t say he was coming back early,” I noted, sipping my drink as Keith continued to stare. “Hey, Kogane. Stop staring, you look weird.” I mocked, using the same tone he had used just a few minutes earlier, and earning myself a solid punch to the shoulder.

He grumbled a little before looking away. “You’re the one who’s supposed to be trying to talk to Allura,” He said quickly. “But I guess she’s dancing with good old Lance now, so maybe you don’t stand a chance-“

“Stop being an asshole and come with me,” I said, grabbing his arm, and pulling him with me to the stairs that led down to the dance floor that we never actually went to. Neither of us were really that socially involved here; I simply performed my music when I was on for the night, and when we were just here to drink, we would find a table or sit at the bar and just talk between ourselves. Keith had never actually been this talkative in a public place before, and I was starting to worry that the amount of alcohol that he had consumed was going to cause him to do something he regretted later.

The dance floor was everything you’d expect it to be; tightly packed with people, way too hot, and no chance of anybody getting any personal space. I wasn’t going to lie and say it was the most pleasant experience of my life, because the lack of ability to move my arms from my side at some points was causing a slight state of panic in the back of my mind that I was desperately trying to ignore for the sake of being able to stay here with Keith and try and find Allura in the crowd. Despite that, I found myself enjoying it a little as the music changed to something more familiar and upbeat, and the dancing really started. It was easier to move around now people were moving, and spotting the occasional flash of white hair was all I needed to make me keep moving with the crowd.

Keith looked like he was having a good time at the very least, not particularly paying any attention to anybody around him, but moving along to the music like he thought he could dance. He really couldn’t, but that was probably what the best thing was, because nobody in the bar knew how to dance like the dance students that had walked in. I looked over a few people, only to spot her again. She was smiling, looking like she belonged, dancing happily with her arms in the air like nothing else mattered, and it was just beautiful. I felt myself smile unconsciously as Keith grabbed my arm and drag me a little closer to the group, because I wasn’t about to go over there alone.

“Shiro! Keith!” Lance yelled over the music, running over with a grin on his face. He wasn’t nearly as drunk as the rest of his friends, but there was still a slight slur in his voice that told me he had, in fact, been drinking before he had arrived at the bar. “Sorry I didn’t tell you I was coming back early- I mean… I would have but I didn’t really know I was until yesterday morning,”

“No, it’s fine Lance, honestly,” I assured him, glancing over his shoulder to see Allura looking over. My attention snapped back to my friends immediately. “Just means you can come to the party on Friday now,”

He grinned wider. “Obviously, it wouldn’t be a party without me,” I laughed a little. Keith was quiet, now not dancing, but instead, stood there with his arms folded in his normal, sober stance. It was like Lance had forced him to sober up despite how much he had been drinking. “Oh lighten up, Mullet, I know you don’t like me but-“

“Who said I didn’t like you?” He asked quickly. I blinked in confusion.

“It’s pretty fucking obvious, you always avoid me and you hate talking to me unless you have to,” He explained. Keith looked away a little. “But it’s cool, we can’t all like one another I guess,”

It was a little awkward for a moment as we talked before Keith quickly excused himself to go to the smoking area out the back of the bar. Lance gave me a confused look, and I simply shrugged, not understanding what had just happened. He didn’t usually walk away from Lance like that, not unless he was angry or, as I knew the real case was, upset. It was odd to say the least, considering how calm he was just a few seconds beforehand. I didn’t have a clue what had just happened.

“Is he okay?” A familiar voice asked from behind Lance. I looked up, only to see Allura, concern present on her face and a small, sympathetic smile. I sighed and pulled my hair back out of my face.

“I should probably go and see if he needs to leave… I don’t want him starting another fight,” I explained, mainly to Lance. He nodded, and Allura’s face softened slightly. “If I don’t come back, I’ve taken him home, but I’ll let you know either way,” I told them. Lance smiled a little and put a hand on my shoulder.

“I should apologise to him, shouldn’t I?” He asked. “Or, if you think I should leave it until he’s… more sober… maybe I could just go to apologise tomorrow,”

“That would probably be a good idea,” I said. Allura smiled at me, and I gave her a small smile in return. “It’s good to see you. Both of you,” I said before carefully making my way back through the crowd and up the stairs toward the smoking area that I knew he always went when things got too much here.

Of course, I knew Keith too well, and he was there, cigarette half smoked and collar pulled up covering his face a little. There were a few other people outside, but as usual, he stood alone, away from the others, avoiding any unnecessary conversations that could have been started. I walked over and took a seat next to him silently, but he didn’t look up from where he was, elbows resting on his knees and staring down at his feet. He blew some smoke out toward the floor and sighed.

“Why does everyone assume I hate them?” He asked quietly as he stamped the cigarette out with his heel. “I mean, I know I’m not good at talking or making eye contact or any of that, but… I don’t hate him, y’know?”

I smiled slightly. “I think it’s just your way of dealing with social situations. Like-“

“- like my therapist told me. I know…” He interjected immediately. “It’s just… I don’t want to be this way, Shiro… I want to be able to talk to people like you can, but whenever someone comes along I always end up fucking it up.” He sat back and rested his head on the brick wall behind us, looking up at the sky between the buildings.

“I know, and you’ll be able to eventually. It just takes time, remember? It’s not going to just happen one day and you’ll be the life of the party like Lance,” I said quietly. He smiled a little. “And besides, you wouldn’t be Keith Kogane if you didn’t want to fight anybody who spoke to you, so if you did suddenly start liking everyone, I’d be concerned,”

“And you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t fall for people as much as you trip over,” He stated simply. I laughed a little and unconsciously touched my right forearm, where under my shirt, lay an entire sleeve of different tattoos. “But if what you’ve told me is true, then you shouldn’t be ashamed of all that. Besides, it looked pretty cool,”

I smiled and nudged his shoulder lightly. “Exactly. So, are you coming back inside or are we going home?” I asked.

“But what about you and Allura?” He asked. I snorted, stealing a cigarette from him and lighting it up. “You gave up?”

“No, I didn’t give up. I just realised that I’ve put you out of your comfort zone tonight and you’re more important than some girl that probably doesn’t even remember my name,” I explained. He smiled a little more and lit another cigarette. “There’s gonna be more chances to talk to her, and technically, I did speak to her after you walked out, so I guess that’s better than nothing at all,”

After finishing smoking, we decided to head back anyway, after all, we didn’t want to be walking around the streets too late, especially given the area I now lived in. It wasn’t exactly the best idea to be walking around at night while there were less than desirable people lurking down side streets and trying to stop people from getting home by offering them drugs and threatening them with fights if they declined. We stopped off at a local pizza place and picked something up for when we got back and after a few minutes, I had locked the door and collapsed on the sofa. Keith followed suit, kicking off his shoes and throwing his jacket over the back of the chair before falling back into it and sighing.

“Sorry I messed this up for you, Shiro,” He said quietly, pulling his hair out of his face. “I did tell you I wasn’t the right person to take out if you actually wanted to get somewhere, I’m fucking useless,”

“Keith it’s okay, I promise,” I assured him, sliding the pizza box across the coffee table toward him. He took a slice and ate quietly while I turned on the tv. “Are we not going to talk about what happened with Lance?”

“Maybe,” He said as he shoved the crust of his pizza into his mouth. “So he turned up with his dance friends wearing shorts, so what? Idiot could have put some fucking clothes on before walking into a bar full of people but-“

I snorted as I finished my slice of pizza. “So if you weren’t looking at his face I’m guessing-“

“It’s not like that, ‘Kashi. Lance is annoying and I have no interest in him,” He said a little too quickly. I smirked a little, but nodded, trying to humour him so that he wouldn’t get irritated and try to walk back to his foster parents’ house in the dark. “And even if I did – which I don’t – he’s always flirting with other people, so I can’t see him ever looking at me twice anyway,”

I chuckled and put my feet up, sitting back on the sofa. “You never know, maybe he does and you just haven’t noticed it yet,” I joked. He practically launched a pillow across the room, hitting me in the face.

“Shut your face,” He said, snatching another slice of pizza. “I don’t like Lance. End of conversation. Let’s pretend we didn’t see him tonight, and that this conversation never even happened,”

We watched some shitty documentaries that Keith was insistent on correcting the entire time, for about 2 hours, before I started to fall asleep. I got up and threw the empty pizza box away before heading to bed, Keith stumbling into the spare room and collapsing on his bed too. I couldn’t help but wonder how the night would have gone had Matt been there, because I knew that he would have forced me to speak to Allura more, and perhaps, once he got back from Italy, he night actually come along for a drink. Keith would still tag along, of course, but he’d be much more comfortable just drinking without the socialisation that was involved.

As I lay down in bed, I stared at the ceiling, then looked down at my tattooed arm with a sigh. Maybe Keith was right. Maybe I did fall for people too easily, and maybe it was time that I stopped looking for a while, instead of trying to get Allura to speak to me when she wasn’t serving us coffee on our way to class. I had an entire arm covered in tattoos, from shoulder to wrist, and yet I wasn’t even 26 yet. It did seem ridiculous, and most people thought that it was because I didn’t care about most of the people I had been with for long enough. That wasn’t the case at all. I was just a bit of a pushover, and I always managed to fall for the wrong people.

It was a flaw I despised more than anything, and yet it was probably the only thing other than my love for music that was significant about me. That was why I was studying still. I initially wanted to do something with my life that didn’t involve me playing my guitar until I was 80 years old, barely earning any tips and struggling to pay rent on the same shitty apartment I’d been living in for the last 40 years. I wanted to go places nobody had ever been before. That was why I wanted to go to space. That was why I had spent so much time with my head buried in physics books and not paying much attention to a lot of things for the first few years of college. And yet here I was, still studying, but with a different goal in mind.

Space was unrealistic. I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t fit enough, I wasn’t nearly talented enough to even work near a rocket that was going away from Earth. It had always been my dream, but as I got older, that dream seemed to slip from between my fingers, and I brought my head out of the clouds to face the music – literally. I picked up my guitar at the age of 22, for the first time in years, and started writing again. That was when I figured out that I didn’t need to physically distance myself from the things that I would be leaving behind. In my music, I found an escape that I couldn’t have found anywhere else, and I was grateful that I had that.

Now, here I was. Staring at the ceiling in my first proper apartment, that I had paid for with money that I had earned by writing songs that would entertain people, wondering how I got here. I always thought that things would be more than this, that I’d be living in a house with only a few tattoos etched on my skin, one of which belonged to the person that I lived with. But instead, I was on my own, and even if what I had was enough to keep me happy, there was something that I could only describe as emptiness inside, because there was one thing I couldn’t sing my way to.

And that was finding someone who wouldn’t run away.


End file.
